Lilliputian Size Reviews: Alien 3/Alien (To The 3rd Power)

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Alright so, just watched this after many years of procrastinating to see it another time. I’m a big fan of the Aliens franchise (except AVP, they fucked up that shit)

I used to collect the Aliens vs. Predator action figures. I’d still like to go back and get them again, they were awesome. Played the shit out of Alien 3 on Super Nintendo, hard as fuck but kinda fun, not fantastic. Also played Aliens vs. Predator on Super Nintendo, classic beat em up. Played a little Alien Trilogy on Playstation, not as impressed. Just started playing Aliens: Colonel Marines on Xbox 360, super fun and follows the movies pretty well. Our local Laser-X (remember that shit?) had an Alien themed play area. There was a window that showed the area and if you got really close to it, a sensor would go off and a facehugger puppet would jump at the window. Traumatized me. Also had an issue from a of graphic novel series.

Back to the movie at hand. Inferior from Alien and even Aliens. But better than Alien Resurrection.
Visuals are fucking awesome.
Cinematography is great.
Sets and art design are beautiful.
Acting is good.
But story, meh.
Dialogue…eh.
The alien itself….umm, sure why not.

So the one I just watched came out of an Ox (originally you see it come out of a Dog in another versions of the movie, which makes more sense because of the physical similarities) but whatever, it runs on all fours. The survivors from the last movie (Ripley, Newt, Cpl. Hicks, and the upper half of Bishop) are in the escape pod from their ship, crash land on a planet with just 25 life sentence prisoners, 1 warden, and his lackey (nicknamed 85 because that’s his IQ). Unfortunately Ripley is the only one left, the others didn’t make it.
The prisoners are now born again christians and find her appearance to be a bad thing since they are all former killers and rapists and feel that her being there will challenge their faith and fall into the hands of sin.
A few deaths lead to them all working together, no weapons besides some knives and axes. So they use their creativity to kill it. Eventually it gets done but Ripley has been impregnated which is my big quarrel with this movie.
During the climax of Aliens the only alien that got onto the Solaco ship was the queen. She was injected into space and that was it. No other alien was aboard, they even went on a smaller ship that left the Solaco. The only way for her to be impregnated is for their to be facehuggers on the ship. They only come from eggs that are left by the queen in her hive. Her hive was blown to bits in the previous movie. So no eggs available. They didn’t even find the dead husk of a face hugger on the escape pod. So what the fuck? Makes no sense, it’s not like they couldn’t have figured something out to fill that plot hole. Not only that, remember the ox AKA dog? There had to have been 2 aliens aboard. Sorry, I don’t buy this anymore. So that’s my big gripe with this movie otherwise like I said, well done.
It’s the last good Alien movie, Alien Resurrection not so much.

Rating: 3.25 Doggy Aliens

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